When family life was at its peak – full of hustle and bustle, high with dreams and plans, bursting with growth and pride, – we should have had the consideration to be aware of our incredible blessings and been grateful. But that hustle and bustle, dreaming, and prideful selfishness also were the breeding grounds for unrest, distrust, arrogance and dissatisfaction. Our family nest may have appeared acceptable and worthy of envy, but it hid a snake pit of bad attitudes, seething tempers, hurt feelings, and fracturing, fragile hearts.
This was the results of building our nest without including faith, communication, trust, and honesty in the construction. Without any real, solid, Godly foundation – we were doomed long before we knew it. As each chick set out on their own, spreading their wings and flying to their own freedom and their own trees, the added space only emphasized the strife within our home.
Without distractions, the fighting got worse. All versions of the ensuing details are warped by our individual memories and hurts, but the result was the severing of our marriage, 20plus years of accumulated treasures, responsibilities, and any security we thought we possessed.
I was left alone in my nest, empty except for the infrequent residency of the youngest of our babies. The papa bird moved out, but fell into his own despair, wounded and broken and boiled with anger. I continued on, going through the motions, with numbed feelings, masquerading optimism and blindly trying to find my way. I was looking for direction or validation, or any kind of escape from my own despair.
Everyone was going their own way, broken hearts and broken wings making the going tougher than we expected. So focused on the empty nest of my life, I didn’t even see my tree moving too.
It was truly a miracle that brought me back to life. Lots of attention, transplanting, pruning, and some fertilizer are fixing my tree now. My arborist is my Savior (He is yours too!).
“And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of testing fall away.”