I am happy to say that my life, my hope, my faith and my peace are all in pretty good place these days. Actually I should say they are all in a great place in comparison to any of the past stops along my life. Not that my past was very bad… but the faith, the hope and the peace were dormant and out of reach at many points.
Three years ago, after 22 years in a slowly sinking marriage, my husband and I had our last fight. The same fight we had had so many times I had lost count. The subject was different, but still the same. I still don’t know why that was the final one, but it was, and I pulled the plug on our sinking marriage and said the final words.
“I’m Done – I cannot do this any more”
He had been in a snit when he had come home, irritable and irrational. The fighting ensued, his accusations and yelling were delivered after a dozen or more cans of cold ale, the words of hate and frustration slurred but still venomous. My response was frozen in my brain, unable to be expressed. I was choking on the words that could not come out. There was shock, fear, disbelief, and finally, some relief. To remember those days is almost as painful as it was to go through them the first time. The incredible helplessness and frustration were overwhelming.
Yes, I pulled the plug on that sinking marriage, but I honestly thought the boat had already sunk.
14 rescue me
from sinking in the mire;
let me be delivered from my enemies
and from the deep waters”