Thanks be to God, our journey continues towards our relationship recovery.
I already discussed last week’s session in my previous blog, but I forgot to mention that we had a new homework assignment to look forward to for this week. Prescription: A date night with instructions.
1. must be face time – in person, without distractions.
2. must answer and discuss a list of date night questions provided by Crisis Family Care Inc.
3. must report the results at this week’s appointment.
4. Definitely must pray before. (we opted to add another prayer after we finished too)
“With three things my spirit is pleased, which are approved before God and men: The concord of brethren, and the love of neighbors, and man and wife that agree well together.” —Ecclesiasticus 25:1-2
So, what are these date night discussion questions?
1. How would you rate our marriage, 1-10?
2. What are three things you like about our marriage?
3. What are three things you would like to change?
4. What do you think is God’s purpose for our marriage?
5. What are we doing to fulfill that purpose?
6. What should change in order to fulfill God’s purpose?
7. How do we rate as parents of our children, 1-10?
8. What three things can we do to be better parents?
9. How can we help our children live fulfilled lives?
10. How are we doing financially How can we do better?
11. How are we doing physically? Can we do better?
12. What are two enjoyable things we do together?
13. What are some hindrances to our marriage or family?
(these were provided by marriage counselor from Crisis Family Care, Inc http://www.crisisfamilycare.com)
We remembered to start with prayer and held hands throughout the question and answer and discussion session. Just the two of us, no distractions, no mediator, no cheerleaders, no judge. Just the two of us.. and God for sure. Definitely had God in the conversation because it all went well, even the scratchy stuff.
Some of the good things were how optimistic we both are about the future and the way we are going about getting to it. And, even though our children are adults and beyond our direct parenting influence, we discussed it anyway. Surprisingly we had differing views on our past parenting. I feel we shortchanged them on the really important lessons – morality, faith, and love. He thinks we did fine. We both agreed that our current circumstances and focused marriage restoration efforts are teaching our children a more important lesson that they would have missed out on if our journey had taken the rosey trail from the beginning. A lesson in forgiveness and love, courage and faith. For that reason alone, I can almost agree that it is worth the pain and sacrifice we’ve endured to get to this point.
We even discussed finances (always a tough area), retirement, health, grandchildren and hobbies too. Not so sure we are going to take up anything extreme like bungee jumping… but long walks on local bridges maybe.
“In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps”. Proverbs 16:9
Thanks be to God. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen